Yokozuna in a Casket

 AFTER WEEKS OF WAITING MICK HAS WRITTEN ANOTHER WRESTLING ARTICLE!

On Sunday the WWE gave us the Royal Rumble. John Cena won and there were not a lot of surprises. THAT IS NOT NECESSARILY A BAD THING! It made me think back to a time when the WWE was looking for a creative way to get the Undertaker off of TV for a while and Uncle Vince decided to dust off the Casket Match and make a 500 pound Samoan wrestle for 20 minutes of terrible action. Sit down a minute and let Mickey tell you a story from 1994.

The Future of Nuptial Agreements

Let's be honest. The phrase "Til Death Do Us Part" means as little as "I'm OK to drive" or "I'll pay you back." More than half of the couples you see wed are divorced within five years. Some people are not meant to share their lives with another person. Years and years of being with the same person is a strain on your sanity, your wallet, and your life. Instead of signing a pre-nup sign a Bastard Gentlemen Official Nuptial Agreement.

Manti Te'o At The Center of Illuminati Cover Up

Is it only a coincidence that Manti Te'os girlfriend became a "fake person" the day after Lance Armstrong "sorta kinda almost" admitted to roiding up before the Tour de France? Is it coincidence that she "died" the same year Armstrong decided to stop fighting allegations he was more roided up then the 1988 WWF locker room?. There are no coincidences people, that's why the only way to answer what happened this week is to look at the Illuminati.

The Guys Guide to Moving In

I know I'm not the only person who has ever written or talked about this. I'm not breaking any new ground here but there are still millions of ignorant dudes out there who have no idea what they are getting into when they ask a girl to move in. Shit will go down. Things will change. You'll have to face some difficult choices.

Naked Gym Guy: The Interview

Every gym has one. If you've even gone to work out you've likely seen him and made direct eye contact as he smiled right at you, dong swinging in the air, breeze through his untrimmed pubes. That's right, the naked gym guy. He spends more time in the locker room then he on the treadmill. It's likely you've wanted to ask him "Hey, why are standing naked in the middle of the lockers singing?" or "Dude, could you please not towel your bung right next to me? I'm trying to tie my shoes." Well I hope I can bring you some answers today. The naked guy at my gym is an old Asian man who speaks very little broken English and asked to be called Bob. Our conversation is after the jump.