Every gym has one. If you've even gone to work out you've likely seen him and made direct eye contact as he smiled right at you, dong swinging in the air, breeze through his untrimmed pubes. That's right, the naked gym guy. He spends more time in the locker room then he on the treadmill. It's likely you've wanted to ask him "Hey, why are standing naked in the middle of the lockers singing?" or "Dude, could you please not towel your bung right next to me? I'm trying to tie my shoes." Well I hope I can bring you some answers today. The naked guy at my gym is an old Asian man who speaks very little broken English and asked to be called Bob. Our conversation is after the jump.
Plough: Hi Bob, I'm happy to have this opportunity to ask you a few questions. First of all, how are you today?
Bob: My dong is thick like oak and my bush is like unkempt summer lawn.
Plough: Yes it is. I can't help but notice it appears you are graying a little down there.
Bob: Bitches love to play with bush that's grey.
Plough: I'm sure they do. Now I have to ask, what is it you do that causes you to spend so much time in the locker room area?
Bob: 45 minutes is spent between sauna and shower. Alternating between hot and cold every 5 minutes leads to ultimate pleasure for flesh. Cold shower makes one tough.
Plough: When I walked in here you were laid out like Burt Reynolds in Cosmo. I must ask, why did you chose to great me that way?
Bob: In my country, Reynoldsing is ultimate compliment.
Plough: Thank you? Last question, you seem to spend a lot of time brushing your teeth in front of the mirror. You always do this completely naked. Why?
Bob: As I brush teeth, the shaking causes my wang to act as metronome for song which I sing in my head.
Plough: I don't think you've cleared anything up. But thank you for putting on a tee-shirt for the interview. I just wish you had worn pants.
Bob: I sit in ever seat naked to make it my own. The bench you sit on has been mine for long time.
Plough: Now I wish I'd worn pants.
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