ITS A CHRISTMAS EDITION OF THE PRO WRESTLING ALARM! EVEN VINCE MCMAHON EXPLOITS THE GREATEST OF HOLIDAYS!
Pro Wrestling and holidays have had a rocky past. Halloween has brought us many different Stings. Thanksgiving brought us The Gobbledy Gooker. And Christmas brings us Santa Claus. When Santa shows up in a wrestling ring, 9.5 times out of 10 he will be beaten within an inch of his life. Steve Austin hits Santa with a Stone Cold Stunner. 911 chokeslams him to the delight of Philadelphia ECW fans. But one man hated Santa and Christmas more than any other. That person is "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase. And boy did he have a surprise for the wrestling audience.
Ted ran the Million Dollar Corporation which consisted of Evil Tax Man Irwin R. Schyster, King Kong Bundy, Sid Vicious, Bam Bam Bigelow, and Evil Native American Tatanka. But that collection of non-talent was not complete. He needed one more hero for his stable.
Ted made a trip down to the South Pole and found Santa's evil brother, Xanta Claus. Xanta did not have a sleigh, elves, or reindeer. Xanta climbed down the chimneys of good boys and girls and stole their presents. Xanta ate their milk and cookies and did terrible things. Instead of red and white, he wears red and black. Xanta is fat and kind of short and played by ECW alumnus Balls Mahoney.
Xanta made his debut in a segment with the former KWANG, Savio Vega. Savio Vega talks with Ted and admits that he believes in Santa Claus. A guy in a Santa suit hits Savio with his sack...of toys. Kids cry and boo. Adults wonder why they should care about Savio Fucking Vega.
Then Vince McMahon suddenly realized that Xanta is not only short and fat and a terrible wrestler, but his character is only viable for a short time of year. Xanta Claus should not be wrestling at Summerslam. So Xanta was fired and never mentioned on television again. Merry Christmas!
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