The Milkman Cometh

PRO WRESTLING ALARM!!!!! THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! IF YOU'RE NOT DOWN WITH THAT, I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU!

This story will be about one of my favorite pro wrestling memories. It is a great moment that has been largely forgotten by the WWE Universe. This was an "Event" episode for WWE Raw. Event episodes usually feature something expensive being destroyed and these episodes do not come around very often. This event featured our American hero Kurt Angle riding to the ring in a milk truck and all hell breaking loose. (There are a lot of pictures after the jump, give the page a second to load)

Kurt Angle is and was a brilliant wrestler. Angle legitimately won two gold medals in wrestling at the 1996 Olympics and was always perceived as an All-American goof who preached every value Hulk Hogan did in the 80's. He preached the 3 I's (Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence) and gave safe sex lectures in elementary schools.

Our story takes place in 2001. The WWE purchased both World Championship Wrestling and Extreme Championship Wrestling and all of their contracted wrestlers formed "The Alliance" to take over the WWE. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was the leader of The Alliance and was doing a promo with all 20 or so members of The Alliance in the ring as the show was about to close.

Kurt Angle's music hits and Kurt rides out to the ring in a milk truck. The scene is ridiculous. Austin asks Angle what he is doing there and this leads to Kurt pulling out a hose attached to the truck. Angle sprays the entire Alliance and many members of the front row of the audience with cow juice for the next minute. Austin is pissed. The Alliance is pissed. The front row is pissed. Angle then celebrates by climbing to the roof of the milk truck and opening two half-gallon cartons of milk. And just like Stone Cold, he smashes the open cartons together and then drinks/pours the rest on his face. I laugh for the next 20 minutes.

If the preceding scene sounds familiar that is because "Stone Cold" did the same thing years earlier but replace the words "milk truck" with beer truck and "Alliance" with Vince McMahon. The beer truck event episode happened first but I loved the milk truck incident more because of the sheer innocence and goofiness of it.