Akeem, The African Dream

SPOILER ALERT! PRO WRESTLING ARTICLE! IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE AN ARTICLE ABOUT THE AWESOMENESS OF 80'S WRESTLING THEN FIND AN ARTICLE ABOUT THE DEBT CEILING AND THEN FIST YOURSELF!

I was going to write about the saga of Saba Simba for this article but realized that the article would be about offensive racism and not be funny. Saba Simba was a guy named Tony Atlas that Vince McMahon had a grudge against. When Tony came looking for work he was given a tribal costume and a shield and spear. Tony danced around barefoot. He did not last long.

This article will be about Akeem, the African Dream. Same amount of racism but this storyline was better, more memorable, and funnier. To read on about South Africa's favorite son, just click the little button.

Before he became Akeem, George Gray wrestled as The One Man Gang. Gang had a Mohawk and was a biker. One Man Gang then took on "The Doctor of Style" Slick as his manager and went through a change. Gray wanted to get back to his African roots. There was an elaborate ceremony done in a parking lot with some trash can fires. And then Akeem popped out of the trash can a new man with a new character.A character rooted in South African culture. A character reaching out and representing an untapped marketplace. A great new tag team partner for The Big Bossman as they tried to end Hulkamania. The only problem with this scenario is explained best in picture.

George Gray is white. The best African-American hero the WWF could come up with was a white man. A white man in a dashiki. A fat white guy wearing a dashiki that resembles a Russian Nesting Doll. It looks like there are 12 smaller fat Akeems inside of him. And George Gray was also from the South so he would give jive interviews while sounding like Foghorn Leghorn. But Vince sold nothing better in the 1980's than fat opponents who hate Hulk Hogan. Akeem and Big Bossman were given many matches against Hulk and "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Akeem made a lot of money.

Should have smelled the racism coming when Slick was inserted as his manager. Slick dressed in pimp suits, carried a cane, and was portrayed as a street hustler. But the greatest thing about him was his theme song and entrance video that deserves a look on YouTube. The song is called "Jive Soul Bro" and features Slick walking around the ghetto with several close-ups of his big lips and even more of him eating fried chicken.

The WWE can be a fun and amazingly racist place to work in.