Now We Talk About Tough Enough

ITS ANOTHER PRO WRESTLING ARTICLE! AVERT YOUR EYES! HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!

Once upon a time in the mid 1990's networks could not get enough professional wrestling content. The ratings were high and everyone was talking about the weekly happenings. The other thing networks could not get enough of was this new trend called "reality TV". Reality TV is as scripted as wrestling. Wrestling is infinitely more real. And they can air the show on MTV which started the genre with "The Real World." What MTV and the WWE created was a waste of money but had some entertaining moments.

Season One
Winners: Maven and Nidia
Notable Contestants: Christopher Nowinski and Josh Matthews

MTV and the WWE made the call out to regular fans who wanted to become WWE Superstars. People without any training whatsoever that they could mold into cash machines. Season One would pick one man and one woman to give a one-year contract to. MTV filmed the brutal training sessions and interviews. The process was often fascinating. And while every trainee lived under the same roof, there was a lack of focus on their home life aspect and more of the process.

Maven was the first male winner. He has a lot of agility but a lack of charisma. Maven was a contender for the Intercontinental title. He main-evented a Survivor Series as part of a team including Chris "Scumfuck" Benoit, Chris Jericho, and Randy Orton. He then turned heel and squandered his last chance. Maven was last seen on VH1's "The Surreal Life."

Nidia was hidden for the first year of her contract. She went through additional training and debuted as the "Trailer Park Queen" who stole the heart of redneck character Jamie Noble. This made her entertaining enough. The highlight of her career was an angle where she was blinded temporarily and still participated in swimsuit and lingerie contests on RAW.

Josh Matthews became a backstage interviewer, announcer, and website personality.

Chris Nowinski should have won the competition. He has a degree from Harvard and played the "I'm smarter than you card" to great effect. Nowinski suffered a series of concussions that ended his career and he now spends his life studying the long-term effects of concussions on professional athletes. He failed as a wrestler and became a great person.

Season Two
Winners: Jackie Gayda and Linda Miles

Season one was successful enough to warrant a second. They should have thrown the baby out with the bath water. Remember when I said that they did'nt focus on the contestants home life? MTV added more cameras and booze to the house and drama ensued. Not good or gripping drama, just conflict for the cameras. The twist of this season was the best two contestants, regardless of gender, would be deemed winners. And then they picked two women.

Jackie Gayda won. Literally no talent but she had sex appeal. Jackie has the distinction of having competed in the worst match ever seen on TV. Voted on by thousands of fans and the 2nd place finisher was not even in the neighborhood. Jackie Gayda teamed with Chris Nowinski to take on Bradshaw and Trish Stratus in a tag team match. It was less than 5 minutes long and scarred the memories of everyone who watched it. The end of the match featured Trish going for a move where she grabs the head of Jackie from behind and drives her face into the mat. Trish ran past her, grabbed the head, and fell to the mat. Two seconds later Jackie fell to the canvas after realizing that she fucked up and was pinned. "Mercifully, it's over" were the words of condolence from Jim Ross. Jackie married fellow wrestler Charlie Haas. As a wedding present, the WWE terminated both of their contracts.

Linda Miles is a different story. She had no charisma, talent, or sex appeal. All hope was lost for her ever being a wrestler and she became a manager instead. A woman with no breasts or discernible female qualities was then draped in black leather/dominatrix wear and became the manager of the Basham Brothers. She whipped her guys. They walked around in gimp masks and wrestled with balls gags in their mouths. They were all fired together.