PRO WRESTLING ALARM! THIS IS A STORY THAT BLENDS HALLOWEEN WITH THE HILARIOUS WORLD OF PRO WRESTLING! YOU SHOULD READ IT!
Halloween Havoc was a yearly pay-per-view produced by WCW. Because the event took place in October, the WCW often added spooky elements to the event. And because the company was essentially run by Hulk Hogan, he couldn't fight mere wrestlers. The Hulkster required MONSTERS! Monsters to scare the little Hulkamaniacs briefly before falling down to the mat after the Big Boot and Legdrop. In 1995, the Hulkster was met with his greatest challenge to date. Stronger than Andre the Giant, King Kong Bundy, Earthquake, The Undertaker, The Ultimate Warrior, and Sgt. Slaughter put together. Hogan was set to fight THE MOTHER FUCKING GIANT!
The guy was known as The Giant. And his evil could not be contained to just one match. These guys were monsters! And so the first and last ever MONSTER TRUCK BATTLE was contested!
The money spent to put on this spectacle had to be astronomical. WCW had to commission the building of two Monster trucks. Each truck had to be painted and altered to reflect the Hulkster and the Giant. The Monster Truck Battle could not take place in a mud pit or in a special area of the arena. It had to be contested on top of the arena next door. Each truck had to be airlifted to the roof and back. Millions of dollars spent to create trucks for a WRESTLING pay-per-view.
A 7 foot tall man climbed into a truck. The Big Orange Machine climbed into his. The trucks were welded together and a Sumo Monster Truck match began! You already have to suspend disbelief to its limits to watch this. This sumo match was completely over the top. Engines revved. The Giant growled. Hogan's truck miraculously pushed The Giant's back axle out of the circle. But wait, there's more!
The Giant storms out of his truck and pulls Hogan to the edge of the building. Giant and Hogan climb to the ledge. The Giant lands a punch. Hogan tries to stay on the building. Giant grabs Hogan by the throat. Hogan slaps the Giant's hands away. The Giant falls off of the building. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. THE GIANT FELL OFF OF THE FUCKING BUILDING!
The announcers talked in hushed voices. Hogan had just committed involuntary manslaughter on TV. The announcers speculated that the Giant fell anywhere between 90 to 150 feet. But there was still a match for the WCW World title that night and Hulk Hogan came out to the ring when his music hit.
Then The Giant walked into the building. Completely unscathed. Not even an over-sized novelty bandage on his head. Giant survived a million foot fall and reported to his match on time. The undertaker wishes he could no-sell like that. Then Hogan and The Giant wrestled a terrible match. The Giant wins by disqualification.
To recap, millions of dollars spent. Giant falls off building. Giant not only lives, but wrestles match. Hogan refuses to lose clean in either a Monster Truck match or a match with a guy who survived falling off a building. That's WCW, "Where the Big Boys Play!"
No comments:
Post a Comment