The Burt Reynolds Incident

Today during my training for the Warrior Dash I became the unsuspecting victim of an unprovoked Reynoldsing.  The story after the jump

If you have followed my twitter feed for a while you may have heard stories of "Naked Asian Guy".  This was an older Asian gentlemen who spoke very little English and brushed his teeth naked in front of the main entrance to my gyms locker room. One time I entered the gym as he was entering the shower and singing in his native language.  After my hour-long workout routine had ended I returned to the locker room where he was still singing songs and brushing his hair whilst naked and standing in his favorite spot (next to the locker room main door).

I haven't seen Naked Asian Man for some time and now it appears he has been replaced. Somewhere around 10:30am, I had finished a mile on the AMT machine (it's like an elliptical, but not).  It was to be an abbreviated workout due to time constraints, so I quickly went to get some weight training in.  As time was running out I stopped my sets and went to the sauna.  That's right I end my workouts by sweating out the massive amounts of alcohol which have been, at times, forced into my system over the years.  I go into the empty sauna, grab the official water holding device (known as a pitcher) and leave to fill it up. Upon my return to the sauna I am greeted by a man, staring me dead in the eyes saying "Hello" and laying like this:

This one's for the ladies

I was shocked at first by the mans bravado, then by the mans perfectly white anchorman hair. The next thing I did was sit down as far away from the man as possible. The man did have shorts on so I didn't get the "Full Reynoldsing" but this was close enough.  After ten-minutes in which I sat and mumbled to myself, the man got up and left.  As he left I noticed he was well under five-foot tall and had a beer belly. I had been Reynoldsed by a pot-bellied Oompa Loompa with white news anchor hair.