On April 2nd, Brock Lesnar made his return to professional wrestling after a multi-year absence. Most saw it coming and predicted it since he retired from the UFC after losing to Alistair Overeem. Brock is a physical freak who has dominated everything put in front of him. Except life. For every great choice Brock has made there has been an equal and/or horrible reaction.
Good
After winning the NCAA National Wrestling title, Brock signed a deal with the WWE and was viewed as a cant-miss prospect.
After winning the NCAA National Wrestling title, Brock signed a deal with the WWE and was viewed as a cant-miss prospect.
Bad
Brock is sent to Ohio Valley Championship to learn how to wrestle and is generally dominated by better and smaller wrestlers, thus fucking with his natural intimaidation and monster physique.
Brock is sent to Ohio Valley Championship to learn how to wrestle and is generally dominated by better and smaller wrestlers, thus fucking with his natural intimaidation and monster physique.
Good
Brock wins WWE title multiple times and wrestles in the Main Event of Wrestlemania.
Brock wins WWE title multiple times and wrestles in the Main Event of Wrestlemania.
Bad
Brock attempts a forward facing backflip (Shooting Star Press) on his opponent and lands on his head. Then decides he does not want to wrestle anymore due to the incessant travel. Brock gets booed out of buildings.
Brock attempts a forward facing backflip (Shooting Star Press) on his opponent and lands on his head. Then decides he does not want to wrestle anymore due to the incessant travel. Brock gets booed out of buildings.
Good
Brock marries the woman formerly known as Sable. Sable was one of the most attractive women in the world, responsible for more boys getting through puberty than Clearasil...
Brock marries the woman formerly known as Sable. Sable was one of the most attractive women in the world, responsible for more boys getting through puberty than Clearasil...
Bad
And he married her 8 years after her looks had faded. She looks like Brock's sparring partner more than his hot wife.
And he married her 8 years after her looks had faded. She looks like Brock's sparring partner more than his hot wife.
Good
Brock decides to try playing NFL Football. And why not, he was a good high school player.
Brock decides to try playing NFL Football. And why not, he was a good high school player.
Bad
Brock tries out for Minnesota Vikings. Changes positions multiple times. Is cut after Training Camp and he never makes an NFL roster. Karma slaps him in the dick.
Brock tries out for Minnesota Vikings. Changes positions multiple times. Is cut after Training Camp and he never makes an NFL roster. Karma slaps him in the dick.
Good
Brock enters UFC and wins World Heavyweight Championship. Becomes highest paid MMA athlete.
Brock enters UFC and wins World Heavyweight Championship. Becomes highest paid MMA athlete.
Bad
Lost debut match to Frank Mir. Was badly embarrassed by Cain Velasquez and knocked out in the 1st Round. Beaten to a pulp by Alistair. Retired in post match interview.
Lost debut match to Frank Mir. Was badly embarrassed by Cain Velasquez and knocked out in the 1st Round. Beaten to a pulp by Alistair. Retired in post match interview.
Superbad
Brock also had a knock-down drag-out fight with Death and it was decided as a Split Decision with Brock barely winning.
Brock also had a knock-down drag-out fight with Death and it was decided as a Split Decision with Brock barely winning.
Good
Brock returns to WWE when he realizes that pretending to hurt people hurts less than being kicked repeatedly in the stomach and being punched in the face. Brock returns to a great ovation and delivers the F5 to John Cena.
Brock returns to WWE when he realizes that pretending to hurt people hurts less than being kicked repeatedly in the stomach and being punched in the face. Brock returns to a great ovation and delivers the F5 to John Cena.
Now let's hope that Brock is no longer afflicted by his demons and enemies...Brock's biggest enemies are stomach issues, international travel, commitment, staying in one place, talking, Karma, choosing hot women, and being a good person. Until one of these ailments derail him again, the Next Big Thing is back. Time to Mark Out.
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